Gentlemen, have you ever really wondered what would make your lady the happiest; a luxurious Mediterranean cruise or a beautifully gleaming tennis bracelet? How about sending her to the day spa for the pampering of a lifetime? Or what about planning a special fancy party for her friends at some swanky restaurant? Hey, a mink coat? How about redoing the entire kitchen with the latest greatest appliances and marble counter tops? Those all sound like perfect smile makers, but I have one to top them all; just dance.
I have been around dancing for most of my life. My professional career in the field has lead me to the conclusion that a man should dance with his lady. She would MUCH prefer to dance with you than any of those fancy, expensive items mentioned previously. It’s so easy to put a smile on her face, and it is one of fortitude!
I can’t stress enough how women love to dance with their men. The most basic little movement of ‘walk, walk, walk ‘ embraced by the arms of the man makes the lady giggle and smile from ear to ear. I really don’t think you guys understand what it all means. She wants to spend quality time WITH YOU and that is where it ends; and where dancing begins.
So do yourself a favor and learn to dance; she will appreciate it forever AND it only gets better with time. It will never get old, lose value or get shoved in a closet!
About twice a year I “google” “Why men don’t dance.” I’ve been doing it since my wife and I agreed to disagree about dancing. This time I found your blog.
Being on the dance floor terrifies me. I’d rather be back in dangerous places (gad I miss that work) than get on the dance floor. I finally gathered to courage to suggest we take dance classes together. I reasoned I could pretend the dance was a play from football or basketball, “just do your job and it’ll be okay.” Nope, for my wife, it is “free dance” or nothing. That is not happening. I don’t understand the advice to “just feel the music” or “listen for the rythym” neither makes the least sense to me.
BTW I cannot read the comments to your blog, light gray text on white background is not good combination.
Dear Norman,
It’s a pleasure for me to have the opportunity to respond to your commentary.
I’ve been teaching 22 years and I am all too familiar with the terror that many men experience on that wooden surface; actually it’s not just men. (I had a student get sick and run to the bathroom just before his lesson.) I have made it my business to make the first and subsequent experiences for the student comfortable and as pain-free as possible. But it does take two; the roles must clearly be determined and both parties must play their part.
I find that many women have a hard time ‘allowing’ the man/leader to develop his skills, which is why separate lessons can be very effective. Generally, the woman/follower has NO IDEA that the man/leader can’t even hear the music let alone, move to it or with it.
The leader has the more difficult part; it takes time, patience, repitition and most of all, a state of comfort that sets the arena for the man/leader to take charge and execute the instructions. Ladies just want to fly around and have a good time…..sound familiar?
It’s so ironic because the roles of man and woman are so traditionally set on the dance floor; old fashion if you will. There is an automatic incongruency with that in and of itself. The women say they want to be lead, but do they really? They must be taught to follow, a very necessary ingredient to a man’s success. Upon the edification of the man by the woman, and the extended respect of honor, he can then thrash his arms and legs about and awkwardly strive forward toward grace and poise with no criticism or fear of being made a fool of. Gee, sounds like the winning formula for a good marrige.
So in conclusion, thank you for sharing. I am very committed to my cause; to produce as many dancing men as possible. It just boils down to our being wired differently and an overall difference in communication skills. Oh and by the way, it doesn’t take a Fred Astaire to make her happy, just a few basic moves in your arms as you truly take charge!
Corinne
PS I did not find the gray on white, where was it exactly?
I’m using Firefox, perhaps your site is not browser agnostic? I’ll try with Chrome. Anyway, back in the mid-80′s I lived and worked in Somalia (refugee camps) when Cindi tries to drag me onto the dance floor I think fondly the guns and bombs. ::only partially untrue::
Nope the problem is in the comments section it shows up when using Chrome as well.
Thank you.